Oxichamogelo

The phone rang as I was sleeping. It was around 7:30 in the morning, and it was a bit early as long as my daily schedule was concerned. I didn’t receive it, kept the phone in flight mode and continued sleeping…

It was around 9 and I was set to leave to the hospital, when I checked my phone “10 missed calls”, it read. “Oh fuck, I’m in trouble”, I said to myself. I called back to Dr. Sophie.

“Hello Sophie, Good morning”, I said in a charming way so that she wouldn’t shout at me.

“Where are you?? I’ve been calling you for ages. Come here in fifteen or I’m gonna kick your ass from this hospital. There’s a peculiar case that has arrived. We’ve never seen something like that in medical history”, she said and disconnected the call.

“Maybe her boyfriend turned into a donkey”. I said to myself. I drove as fast as I could to the hospital.

“Good Morning again, doctor. Did your boyfriend turn into a donkey??” I said.

“Ha Ha. Check this report”, she said.

“A man cannot smile”, first thing that caught my attention in the report.

“What?? Seriously” I said.

“I don’t know what to make out of it. He didn’t have any love failure, no deaths in the family, no problem at job. I’m confused. That’s why I wanted your opinion, Psychiatrist”, she said as we walked into the ward.

I looked at him. He was man in his thirties. Dark circles around his eyes, a tensed look. He was looking at the window. I walked towards him, “Good Morning, Adrian. How are you feeling?” I asked looking at the reports.

“I’m fine. Actually my mom is worried. But I’m fine. I can’t smile, so what?? It’s not a disease. I think you all are wasting your time on me”, he said.

“That’s for us to decide, Adrian. We’ll run some tests then you are free to go”, I said and we left.

A couple of hours later, the results came. “Everything’s normal, I think he’s fine”, I said.

“Are you sure?? Maybe we’ll observe him for a couple of days”, she said.

“I’m telling you Sophie, send him home. He’ll be fine”, I said.

“Ok I’ll do that, but on one condition”, she said.

“What’s that??” I said hoping it wasn’t something bad.

“You must visit him every day and try finding the reason for it”, she said.

“No. Seriously!! I’ll send some intern. However they don’t have any work here”, I said.

“No, you came late today. You are going every day and work on his case. This is an order. If you don’t, then your job is on the line. I’ll do exactly what I told you today morning “Kick your ass””, she said by just moving her lips.

I smiled sarcastically and walked away.

***

Next day, I got up early as I had to visit Adrian. I decided to check up on him and then go to the hospital. It was raining. The skies were grey and it was a dull morning. I was driving as the droplets were swept off by the wipers. I looked at my watch. It was 8:20. It looked like a sad face smiley. I thought to myself, “I’m going to meet a sad guy too”

I rang the bell. Adrian opened the door. I smiled and said, “Good morning”. He just wished me back.

“How are you feeling now??” I asked.

“It’s the same. I can’t smile or laugh”, he said.

“I know Dr…” he looked at me.

“Bruce”, I said.

“Bruce, you think this is some kind of a joke. It’s fine, if you don’t wanna treat me”, he said and went into the kitchen.

He took me by surprise. I didn’t know what to do. I said, “See you tomorrow” and left.

*** l

“How was your visit to Adrian, Bruce??” Sophie asked.

“How was the visit?? It was horrible and Adrian’s an asshole. I don’t know what he thinks about himself”, I said irritated.

“Hi I sent you there to work on his case. Go tomorrow and apologize. I’ll talk to Adrian”, she said.

“No way, can’t I send some interns tomorrow??” I said.

“No”, she said and left.

***

I rang the bell.

“Come in, the door’s opened”, he said.

I went in. He was watching TV and was drinking coffee probably. He asked me to sit down. I smiled and said, “Good morning”.

“Good morning, doc. Do you want some coffee??” he asked.

“Ya sure”, I said. I was about to ask him the question I asked him yesterday, but the reply he gave made me hesitant.

He brought me a cup of coffee and said, “I’m sorry what happened yesterday doc. I was a bit irritated and you came by … and ya I’m sorry”

“It’s ok. I understand. I’ve had patients who have left my clinic, throwing pens, papers of my office all around. I came here to apologize actually”, I said.

“I know, Dr. Sophie told me yesterday. It’s my entire fault”, he said.

“Ok Adrian, we have to work together now. If we have to find a solution, we need to talk. I need to know you and things that happened recently in your life”, I said.

“Doc, there is something I wanted to tell you in the hospital itself. But I didn’t. I’ll tell you now. Since my childhood, I was a shy kind of a person. I would smile at people. I wouldn’t talk much. As I grew up, I started talking to my friends and that too only a little. Family get together, birthdays, prom and all other occasions I was there just smiling. Smile was the way I used to communicate with people. I had a girlfriend whom I broke up with her a couple of years ago. It wasn’t serious. I was fine after that. Until last week, I was at my Aunt Rachel’s birthday party. Everyone was looking at me. I wasn’t smiling. My mother got worried. Everyone was worried. And I came by your hospital, a couple of days”, he said.

“Okk”, I said.

 “You know what I think this is?? I used to smile a lot. Maybe God wanted me to talk to people rather than just smile. He is sending me a message in his own way. I don’t know about what you think about all this. It’s like my whole body is stopping me from making those muscles move so that I can smile”, he said.

“Right now, I can’t say anything. It was quite a story. Anyways swing by the hospital tomorrow, I’ll have the physician run some tests”, I said.

As I was about to leave, my eyes caught a glimpse of a frame hanging on his wall. It had dust all over it. I could see the quote written in it, which read, “Jesus wept; Voltaire smiled. From that divine tear and from that human smile is derived the grace of present civilization”.

“Hi whose quote is that”, I asked him.

“It’s by Victor Hugo. I think I’ve lost the human smile. Maybe Jesus wants that”, he said.

I was a bit disturbed. I drove to the hospital. The smell of medics, the drugs it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t looking around and flirting with interns. The thought of losing the ability to smile made me uncomfortable. I was looking into the mirror and checking whether I could smile.

***

I couldn’t sleep. I was lying there on my bed and I was thinking about his story. I got up and started looking around for journals, research papers on my laptop. I stayed up the whole night.

***

I reached the hospital at around 8.

“Someone’s early and on time, what happened?? Did some girl kick you out??” Sophie asked.

“No, I couldn’t sleep. Adrian’s story, I was up all night reading. You know there are different varieties of smile. Some smiles are out of pleasure, some strengthen the bond between people and some we can’t control like when we are embarrassed. These smiles, each one of them differ both neurologically and anatomically. Sometimes we smile, just because the opposite person smiles”, I said.

“Ok, so what’s the problem Adrian’s facing?? Should we show him a funny show or crack jokes or make him feel embarrassed. Laughing gas may be. What’s the plan”, she said.

“I don’t know for sure right now. Funny show won’t work. Yesterday he was watching ‘Two and half men’, when I was at his home. Though he switched off the TV as I entered, he was not smiling or laughing watching it. Laughing gas, I don’t think so. It has euphoric effects. It’s better used as an anesthetic rather than making Adrian laugh.   Right now, let’s wait and see what Dr. Seth has to say”, I said.

***

“Everything’s fine. I don’t know why he can’t smile. It’s not Moebius. But don’t take it for granted. Maybe it’s a new disease”, Dr. Seth said.

“Do you really think so, Dr. Seth??” I said.

“Yup, there is no smile on your face. I think it’s contagious too”, he said.

“Very funny”, I said, smiled at him sarcastically and left.

I couldn’t stop thinking about this. Is it really contagious?? Now Dr. Seth’s joke was in my head. I stayed up all night again. I just couldn’t get any sleep. I was going through all things on the net. This went on for a couple of days, when I finally struck a chord.

Next day, I called up Dr. Sophie at about 7. I asked her to come to Adrian’s house. I was driving again. It was raining and I thought of the quote,” Jesus wept; Voltaire smiled. From that divine tear and from that human smile is derived the grace of present civilization” and I smiled and said “The grace of our civilization” to myself. I rang the bell. Sophie was already there.

***

“I know what it is. It’s a disease. He cannot smile. Smile has come to an end for him. There is a Big Bang, and then there is a Big Crunch. Things begin, they come to an end. We take birth in this world, we die. It began with a monkey, and today we are humans. Maybe we’ll end up as monkeys. Things get replaced. Things change. Is God making this happen?? I don’t know. You know today morning I experienced something that is on your wall. Jesus wept; Voltaire smiled. From that divine tear and from that human smile is derived the grace of present civilization, ‘The rain, the smile and the grace of our civilization’. We are losing it. No one plays the pinball anymore, because it involves work, where you have to push the ball around. We just play it in our computers, because it’s only a few presses of some buttons. Similarly we are going to lose our inherent quality to smile, because it’s too much for us. We have replaced by emoticons. We just press a few buttons and press send because that’s easier. Today it’s only one man in this world, maybe tomorrow it will be two. It’s contagious”, I said and walked out of that door, and I never smiled again in my life.